A father in TFP’s Incarcerated Dads Program shared a touching story with TFP Director Dr. Ray Levy in class at MCI Concord a few weeks ago. To a room of incarcerated fathers, Dr. Levy emphasized the importance of contacting their children while they are incarcerated: “If you look at the situation from the child’s perspective, if the child does not hear from you they just think either that you don’t care, they don’t have a daddy, or that you never think of them. If you write them a letter, make a phone call, or ask if someone can bring them to see you, you may not be able to be the father you would like to be today, but you can let them know that you’re still thinking of them, that they have a father, and that you care about them.” These comments prompted Javier* to raise his hand and share the following story.
Javier has a 3-year-old son, who has only seen his father once in his life. There was a program at the prison last Spring called “Read To Me Daddy.” Javier took part in the program, and over several meetings with volunteers he chose a book that was age appropriate for his son. He recorded himself reading the book and saying a few words to his son. The book and recording were mailed home, and the inmate was told by the child’s grandmother that when his son listened to the recording he pointed at the tape player and said “That’s my daddy,” then bent over and hugged the tape player.
This interaction had an important impact on both father and son. Javier feels good for communicating his love, and feels he has a son who knows him and loves him. The son wanted to hug the voice of his father. He now feels he has a daddy, and that his father cares. Often, the most significant thing a father can do is just be there for his child in whatever way he can. Programs like Fathering from the Inside for Incarcerated Dads and “Read to me Daddy” help dads make this connection.
*Names have been changed
TFP’s Father Story series presents personal stories from the front-lines of fatherhood. Individual fathers describe their experience and help us learn about the joys, difficulties and requirements of the work of fatherhood.